Leaving my baby to bring my baby home

This morning started at around 4:00AM. Last minute packing, trying to rethink everything I had stuffed into two fairly large suitcases to determine if I had forgotten anything. Most of all, this day started with such a whirlwind of emotions. Leaving home has been so hard. You may not know this (my family certainly doesn't), but it is my job to protect my family from any thing harmful, hurtful, or otherwise unpleasent. I have failed miserably at this task, but know if I am nearby I have a chance at success. In leaving them, I leave them vulnerable to the world -- I am not able to even mitigate their potential suffering. In case you are wondering, I do know how this sounds -- nuts -- and like I may be a bit overly impressed with my role in the world! Nevertheless, there is it. I have left my daugther, my parents, the rest of my family, and the agency. I am bringing home a miracle to join the others in my life. How blessed am I to be so unhappy to leave my family and happy to bring home a daughter all at the same time. So, I will have to resign as guardian of my little univers, for at tlease the next 24 days and trust that my miracles are all in God's hands.