I didn't find Ellie

Well, I did not find Ellie. This has been a very expensive, very emotional trip. We went to see the other little girl yesterday and didn't get back to the hotel until after 8:00pm. In my heart I knew it wasn't her. So, I did not go back to the orphanage today. Instead, I arrived at the Kemerovo airport at about 4:30 A.M. to try and get my tickets changed to come back home. I was able to do so, and my mother got the rest of my tickets changed. I just arrived in Atlanta and am waiting for my flight to Dallas. I will have to spend the night in Dallas. Probably just as well, I think I may need a good cry before I see Emma. I can't wait to get home to my family and kiss my precious little girl. I may just squeeze the stuffing out of her.

I know that God has a reason for this experience. I know there are things I am supposed to take from it. So far I have learned the following:
1. How hard it is to leave a little one at home.
2. How frightening it is to think that a wrong decision in bringing another little one into your family might adversely impact the child you already have.
3. How utterly demoralizing it is to have an unsuccessful first trip.
I am sure there are more lessons to come as soon as I have slept.

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey;

I asked for health, that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things;
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,

I was given poverty, that I might be wise;

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of man,

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God;
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,

I was given life, that I might enjoy things;

I got nothing that I asked for - but everything I needed,

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered,

I am among all people, most richly blessed.

Author Uknown

I know I will be better able to help others families because of this experience. And I know I probably couldn't have learned it any other way. But, if there is ever a choice, next time I think I would like God to try and send me a post card first.

Love to you all, Merinda

On Pins and Needles

It is current 6:40 AM here and I have been up since 4:30 AM. I don't know when we will leave to go see the little girl. She is in an orphanage about 3 1/2 hours away. So, I don't think I will have any news until morning your time. I am very excited and a little scared and still tired. My sleep pattern is all messed up. Oh well. Thank you for all your prayers and posts. Love Merinda

Countdown

Sunday morning here, about 9:30. I was woken up at about 3:00 am this morning with cars honking and people cheering. It went on until about 8:00. I'm not sure what is going on, but if its a coup, please someone email me. It is less than 36 hours until I get to see who I hope is Ellie. Today will mostly just be killing time (without getting lost). I've looked on the internet for some sort of tour or something. But with the exception of the strip mines, have found nothing.

I am in better spririts that I was. She is here somewhere. Hope springs eternal. Love Merinda

Thank you

Thank you all so much for your posts. You can't imagine how much you have helped. It is seven a.m. here on Saturday morning and things are moving slowly. The little girl I am supposed to see is in an orphanage in a village about 3 1/2 hours away. So, I will see her sometime on Monday afternoon. The place that opens early around here opens at eight. So, I will hang out here and then go get something for breakfast. I guess I will then go on a hunt for a souvenir for Emma. Love to everybody!! Merinda

My Pity Party

I can’t come home yet. They won’t let me see this little girl until Monday. The Department of Education said "if she want to see her, she’ll wait – otherwise, she can go home" And so, I am here until Wednesday. I know it is just a few more days, but I just keep crying. I am trying to have faith that God has granted my prayer, in the mean time that whole "do unto others" thing has kind of gone out the window as I have chewed on American Express, Delta, and Aeroflot. Lucky for everyone else they can’t speak English. I WANT MY BABY GIRL!!!! I WANT MY EMMA!!!!! Mom please hug her for me and tell her I love her love her love her!!! I could also use some central air and a re-run or two of anything in English.

Maybe Ellie

First, thank you so very much for you posts. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. The department of education has located a little girl, almost two for me to go see but I will be delayed here by quite a number of days to see her. If I had received this information while home, I might have said that she is too old. But, I asked God to only allow me to see a child, if that child were Ellie. So, I have agreed to go see her. Please pray that she is Ellie. And please pray for my little Emma. We have never been apart this long. My heart is breaking at the thought of being gone from her longer. But I feel that I must have faith that God has granted my request and that this little girl is Ellie. Thank you all for your prayers. Love Merinda

On the search

The department of education has spent all day trying to see if there might be another little girl for me to go see. At this time, I don't know what the outcome of that search will be. I have been praying that if Ellie is here, they find her so I can see her. I have also been praying that if Ellie is not here, that they don't find anyone for me to go see. I so desperately don't want another day like yesterday. Thank you for your prayers. Mom, please tell Emma I love her so very much and will come home soon. Love Merinda

Not Ellie

Well, yesterday and today so far have been unbelievably difficult. The little girl I went to visit is not Ellie. Please pray for her to find her family soon. I am not sure what is going to happen next. It is about 7:15 in the morning and Russia seems to wake late. We shall see. Right now, please pray for that little girl whose name is Inga and please pray that we find Ellie soon. I know God has some purpose and lesson for me, please pray that I recognize it. Merinda

Finally in Kemerovo

Well I am finally here. (Shelly and Robert, Irena says hi!) My flight arrived about 6:15 this morning, but by the time I got my luggage and everything, it was abour 7:30 before I made it to the hotel. Irena (and Eugene the driver) are supposed to pick me up at 11:45. I got to talk to Emma on the phone when I got here. I could not belive how my heart jumped to hear her voice. I miss that little girl so much. It sounds like she is handling the separation pretty well -- not surprising that she would be more mature about the whole thing than me.

I can't tell you how much your posts mean to me. It is so exciting to log on and see them!! Thank you! By the way, if anyone knows a single chiropracter let me know (with the knots I in my spine have I will have to marry him, I could not afford all of the treatments).

Mom please tell Emma that I love her with my whole heart. Love to everybody, Merinda

A bit ago

Ok, well, I can’t get on the internet now, so this won’t be posted in real time. I arrived in Moscow at about 10:30 Moscow time. I was met by Tatianna, a very friendly woman who appears to be in her late 30's, but must be older since she has a 29 year old daughter. Tatinana seems to be surrounded by a flurry of activity. She talks fast, walks quickly, and laughs often. I instantly took a liking to her. She and Nick (the driver) picked me up, took me to the hotel (which rents by the ½ day) to check in, and then to the airport I would leave from to walk me through the process of leaving this evening.
Once left back at the airport, I just collapsed. I called in for two wake up calls at 6:00 pm and prayed for God to wake me up at 5:00 pm.
God, once again, came through. At 4:57pm, I very slowly and with great reluctance, woke up. After getting ready, I took the hotel shuttle to the airport and sit here now waiting. My flight leave at 9:40 pm. It is a 4 ½ flight, but because of time changes, I will arrive in Kemerovo at 6:00 am.
Things here seen much as I left them four years ago. There is a bit more seating in the airport and now the pay phones take credit cards – but not American Express. Last trip, though, I was in the airport waiting with an American couple, the Gurta’s. They were wonderful and we spent about 13 hours in the airport together. This wait should be must shorter, but I could use the company.
The Russian people are reserved by American standards – certainly by Texas standards and of course there are different standards of personal space and courtesies. Not better or worse, but different. I do miss my little Emma. Love to everybody. Merinda

The Dallas wait

So, I am new to this blogging thing. When I adopted Emma I don't think it had been invented, or at the very least, I had not stumbled upon it. I am starting to get really excited. This adoption experience has been so different from adopting Emma. In some ways it has been much easier, but in some ways so much harder. The waiting has been easier, because my mind was occupied with Emma. But the leaving is so very hard, because my mind is occupied with Emma. But I am very excited to meet Ellie. The little girl I am going to meet turned one in March. She is cute as a bug has a full set of teeth (the better to bite me with I am sure). Emma is so very excited about the prospect of a little sister. It is usually a task to get her up early. But this morning, at 5:30 am, I woke her up with the simple words "today Momma goes to Russia to meet Ellie." She actually popped up with excitement. You all will have to help me remind her of that when she is older and doesn't want to share a car (or a bicycle at the rate I am going). Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers. My parents have Emma to themselves for a week, so you might include them in your prayers too. Love Merinda

Operation Bring Ellie Home Commences

So, here is it. The day before I leave for Russia to meet my new daughter. I am Merinda Condra of Lubbock, Texas. I have one beautiful daughter named Emma. Tomorrow morning I will leave for Russia to find my second daughter, Ellie. I am excidted, but can't imagine how I will stand to be without my little Emma for an entire week!! This blog is to keep our friends and family updated on our progress. Please pray for our family during this exciting and trying time.