Waiting and Waiting and Waiting

Hmmmm, I am probably five weeks out from my trip. I am worried about money for travel and lost income while I am gone. I am worried the most about my Emma. Should I take her with me or not? The depth at which I love her never ceases to amaze me. Can I stand to be away from her for three weeks? Will she be ok for three weeks? Would it be good for her to see Russia and an orphanage to give her some idea of where she came from? Would it be quality time for us together? Would she bond better with Ellie because of the time together away from the rest of the world? Would Ellie? Would she be safe overseas? Could I handle two children without mishap coming home? Would we cause an international incident? So many questions, no answers, and the fear I will make a poor decision. In the midst of all of this angst and uncertainty, I have the clarity of mind to know that I am so very blessed. I have two daughters. One is home and the other is coming. I have my love to share, but also the love of my parents and the certainty that no matter what, that love will continue for myself and my daughters. Perhaps I need to remember this the next time I have fear and anxiety -- I may be in the midst of another miracle and not even know it.